Old and New — Not in Any Particular order.
Old and New — Not in Any Particular order.
When I was in high school and about to turn 16, I have heard about the sweet 16’s birthday parties and the fun those people had, and planned their birthdays that it was perfect, the people who had gone to those parties, the decorations, the planning all kicked off perfectly.
Even though I did not have friends back in the day, and those who I thought were somehow, I decided to throw a sweet 16 birthday party for me. As I had invited 20 people from my school. So now when it came toward the last couple of days to my birthday, I assured people to ask if they are going to be attending my birthday and they said yes we will be there. I got so excited. I remember it was April 28, 2001, on a Saturday and Monday is my real birthday on the 30th, and decided to have it 2 days early because of School on the right day.
As I had begun decorating, and had ordered the cake and the food, as well has putting some games so people can play. As the time was nearing for people to come, I got so excited that I stood by the door to wait for them to come, my anticipation was growing deeper. As I looked at the time again and it was 2pm where the time said on the invitations, I look at the clock and it said 2:15. I said ok its ok, they are running late. Then one person came around 2:30, I welcome her into the house and she decided to wait with me. then it became almost 4pm, and it was just her and I was devastated, humiliated, embarrassed, and crying so much.
That one girl who came to my party wiped my tears away and said it will be ok. Don’t worry, I am here. lets enjoy together. Who cares about the rest that stood you up? I said yeah you are right. So we enjoyed the food, and desert and cake and watched a couple of movies until it was time for her to go home. She hugged me and said, Talin, do not worry about anybody else, they are cowards. God is watching them. Then she left as her mom came and picked her up. My heart shattered to pieces. It was a feeling that I never wish on anybody else.
After her leaving, I let out a huge cry. I said, I cannot believe this happened to me and my mom comforted me and told me, don’t worry God will punish them. So Monday came and I was still crying and devastated. I did not enjoy my real 16th birthday, but I did go out to dinner with my family, which made everything better. I actually skipped school for a couple of days and just stood home. I just didn’t feel like seeing anybody. Then I decided to go to school on the Wednesday, and none of them said I am sorry and did not bother to give me an explanation as to why they did that. All the planning, food and everything went to waste, however we kept the food and ate it throughout the week.
From then on, I didn’t care about interacting with anybody and I just went about and studied, did my homework, attended all my classes, and then once school was finished, I’d never waste another second and just go home. I was so disgusted. That one girl changed schools the year after because her family had moved somewhere further, and that really made me even cry more. She was the only one who really cared. It was so nice of her. I still have the give she gave me 14-15 years later.
As I reached another milestone this year. At the end of April on the 30th of 2015, I will be celebrating my champagne birthday turning 30 on 30 and it is coming up so quickly. As I almost say Goodbye to my 20’s, I am truly hoping that I can have a sweet 30th birthday that will make up for the sweet 16th birthday I never had. I know it is not good to expect it, but when you’ve never had a birthday party reaching a milestone, it makes you wonder how and what might have been. I just want to have a great time with my lovely and beautiful loved ones I have in my life which really matter to me more than anything else.
Have you experienced a disappointing turnout at a party or function you have had? I am sure you felt humiliated and distraught. Have you had a similar situation where people didn’t bother to show up and not telling you why and not having the common decency to call and explain? If you have, I am so sorry to hear that. I know exactly how you feel. It is not a good feeling at all.
Hopefully nobody has to go through what I went through. Best wishes to you and may your dreams come true, because everyday is our birthday and celebrate it by the gift of breathing and living through another day. We are blessed and that is what matters the most.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about life, where I stand and the time of whom I spend it with and among doing things for myself and the betterment of me and my future. Life is tough sometimes and we have to find ourselves and look forward to new beginnings and a whole new perspective on life to close a chapter and begin a new one. I have spent a lot of time in the last few weeks just analyzing everything going on. You how they say everything happens for a reason. I truly believe in that.
I am very excited and enthusiastic about what my future holds from now. As I had stated a few blog posts ago on how I am getting back into the Armenian community, how I am joining in on events, getting to know people, making new friends, new beginnings. in the last couple of weeks or more, I have been going to a local Coffee shop and I met some really nice Armenian people who go there and every time I go, they are so welcoming, they say hello, and automatically I join them. It feels so great to be there with them and enjoy my couple of hours with them. We laugh, talk, and do our daily ramblings about our lives. It feels incredible.
I have been so bullied in my life when I was growing up in school from when I was in Kindergarten, almost everyone looked at me differently, which to this day I cannot understand the reasons why and with that result, you find it more difficult to trust people, you second guess, and still think everyone is against you. It is extremely difficult sometimes to find closure from unfortunate events that occurred in life, however you think to yourself, how much longer can you do this for? How much more of this can I absolutely take?
Sometimes you have to let go of those unfortunate feelings you have and move forward in life. The only way to find closure, to get a new perspective on life is to move on and to wake up to smell the roses. Take some time for yourself and think things through and just go with the flow. Sometimes you feel like you always need people around you, but you need to spend time alone by yourself to fully think things through.
As long as you have very few friends and your family to count on, the foundation and beam of support from loved ones and those whom you can absolutely trust, confide in is all you really need. When you feel that you no longer second guess things and finally find peace and harmony, everything else will fall into place. Not only socially, but for success, a career choice and so much more. I realize that life is too short, and its really important to always think forward and leave the past where it is. I am learning to never let the past define me of who I am today.
I am absolutely positive and happy about the new findings in life and I look forward to the many plans and goals I have made to achieve them, to strive for success, to get out there and make myself known, to do many things that I have put on hold. I am confident and optimistic about everything. I cannot wait to share it with you all and update on my success and hard work that has taken me to climb that ladder once and again.
Everyone can contribute something wonderful and worthwhile in life. Sometimes circumstances and things come up last minute that it may take longer, but however long it may take, do it. There is no time limit. Its what you feel and how you feel is the importance of everything. Have you recently taken a new perspective on life? Did you start your new beginning? How is it going? Best wishes to you and may you find your calling. What is your story?