My Sweet 16 Birthday that Never happened

When I was in high school and about to turn 16, I have heard about the sweet 16’s birthday parties and the fun those people had, and planned their birthdays that it was perfect, the people who had gone to those parties, the decorations, the planning all kicked off perfectly.

Even though I did not have friends back in the day, and those who I thought were somehow, I decided to throw a sweet 16 birthday party for me. As I had invited 20 people from my school. So now when it came toward the last couple of days to my birthday, I assured people to ask if they are going to be attending my birthday and they said yes we will be there. I got so excited. I remember it was April 28, 2001, on a Saturday and Monday is my real birthday on the 30th, and decided to have it 2 days early because of School on the right day.

As I had begun decorating, and had ordered the cake and the food, as well has putting some games so people can play. As the time was nearing for people to come, I got so excited that I stood by the door to wait for them to come, my anticipation was growing deeper. As I looked at the time again and it was 2pm where the time said on the invitations, I look at the clock and it said 2:15. I said ok its ok, they are running late. Then one person came around 2:30, I welcome her into the house and she decided to wait with me. then it became almost 4pm, and it was just her and I was devastated, humiliated, embarrassed, and crying so much.

That one girl who came to my party wiped my tears away and said it will be ok. Don’t worry, I am here. lets enjoy together. Who cares about the rest that stood you up? I said yeah you are right. So we enjoyed the food, and desert and cake and watched a couple of movies until it was time for her to go home. She hugged me and said, Talin, do not worry about anybody else, they are cowards. God is watching them. Then she left as her mom came and picked her up. My heart shattered to pieces. It was a feeling that I never wish on anybody else.

After her leaving, I let out a huge cry. I said, I cannot believe this happened to me and my mom comforted me and told me, don’t worry God will punish them. So Monday came and I was still crying and devastated. I did not enjoy my real 16th birthday, but I did go out to dinner with my family, which made everything better. I actually skipped school for a couple of days and just stood home. I just didn’t feel like seeing anybody. Then I decided to go to school on the Wednesday, and none of them said I am sorry and did not bother to give me an explanation as to why they did that. All the planning, food and everything went to waste, however we kept the food and ate it throughout the week.

From then on, I didn’t care about interacting with anybody and I just went about and studied, did my homework, attended all my classes, and then once school was finished, I’d never waste another second and just go home. I was so disgusted. That one girl changed schools the year after because her family had moved somewhere further, and that really made me even cry more. She was the only one who really cared. It was so nice of her. I still have the give she gave me 14-15 years later.

As I reached another milestone this year. At the end of April on the 30th of 2015, I will be celebrating my champagne birthday turning 30 on 30 and it is coming up so quickly. As I almost say Goodbye to my 20’s, I am truly hoping that I can have a sweet 30th birthday that will make up for the sweet 16th birthday I never had. I know it is not good to expect it, but when you’ve never had a birthday party reaching a milestone, it makes you wonder how and what might have been. I just want to have a great time with my lovely and beautiful loved ones I have in my life which really matter to me more than anything else.

Have you experienced a disappointing turnout at a party or function you have had? I am sure you felt humiliated and distraught. Have you had a similar situation where people didn’t bother to show up and not telling you why and not having the common decency to call and explain? If you have, I am so sorry to hear that. I know exactly how you feel. It is not a good feeling at all.

Hopefully nobody has to go through what I went through. Best wishes to you and may your dreams come true, because everyday is our birthday and celebrate it by the gift of breathing and living through another day. We are blessed and that is what matters the most.

21 thoughts on “My Sweet 16 Birthday that Never happened

  1. orionwriter says:

    I’m sorry that this happened to you. I thought that sort of thing only happened in the movies honestly… For my 16th birthday I went to the movies with my 3 best friends and my sister…that same year my friendships began to unravel. I don’t really have birthday parties anymore…but my birthday will be happening soon, before my final exams of my first year of university. My 19th birthday. I’m excited…and really, I prefer spending my birthday with my family. I’m still trying to make friends here at school. I hope next year things will go a lot better for me, and that I will be surrounded with good, true friends…and will have friendships that will last.
    Thank God for that girl that came to your party…. Honestly, when it comes to things like that I’m that person who doesn’t stand for bullying…especially that kind. I remember in gr. 4 my so-called friend invited everyone in the class to their birthday party except me…however I was their “best friend.”
    I didn’t understand why…and it was an accident that I found out. Another friend of mine asked, “Didn’t he invite you?” and I said, “No…” and I was going to invite him to my birthday (we’re a day apart) and had the invitation for him with me at school…so I put the invitation back in my backpack and decided not to invite him. I felt kinda bad at first but the people who came to my party were my real friends.

  2. Kristy Renee says:

    Thanks for courageously sharing this painful moment. Although the exact thing did not happen to me, I could very much relate to your pain and vulnerability. You are not alone and I trust you will have a fantastic 30th!

  3. Lolsy's Library says:

    I have always stressed out at hosting parties, but I had my 30th last year and it actually felt a little like high school all over again. I had this one group of people not bother showing up, not letting me know if they were coming when I needed to know numbers, not wish me a happy birthday…Yet they keep inviting me to their’s and get all annoyed with me when I’ve stopped coming to their parties and don’t wish them a happy birthday. I just don’t care any-more,lol…They acted like high school kids for no good reason. When a bunch of 30 year olds act like high school kids, I don’t really want them around any-ways,lol.

  4. awax1217 says:

    I too had an incident that always bothered me. My eleventh birthday and everyone forgot it including my parents. They were to busy hating each other. It burned in me for many years. Sorry it happened to you too.

  5. Léa says:

    There were no birthday parties and when you are always the new kid and very shy on top of that, there are no friends. The day I turned 16 I was in Juvenile Hall as that was where older kids (those over 7-9) awaited a new foster home.
    I learned early to reject anything material as it was always taken away. Am I sad? bitter? angry? NO! I put my self through university and when an automobile accident left me “unable to return to work” I sold up and moved to the south of France near the Mediterranean. The kindest, compassionate and loving people became my friends and now my family. Who knew that life could be this good? It can! Léa

  6. nudiereader says:

    This broke my heart. I do hope your champagne birthday will be everything you wish for. In fact, I will pour a glass of champagne on April 30th and make a toast to wish you a happy birthday from across the miles.

  7. totallytrips says:

    Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I was completely alone in a dark house on my 16th birthday. My mom had forgot and gone out before I got home and all my friends were busy. 2 weeks later my mom got me a purple stuffed my little pony for a belated birthday gift (because she had realized she missed my actual birthday). Sometimes life sux and people are shitty. It seems like the end of the world when you’re young and still trying to find your way. I’m glad we can both look back on those days and think, “No matter what trials and tribulations I’ve faced up till this point, I’ve still made it this far and now nothing can stop me from finding my own happiness.”

  8. A Muslim Latina says:

    I truly wish there was a dislike button here. I’m not meaning that I don’t like your post. I am meaning that it was so hurtful what those kids did to you. Your friend was right though, it doesn’t matter who doesn’t come what matters are the ones that do come for you.
    I truly hope that your 30th birthday you will be surrounded by people that love you and care about. I pray that God will surround you with so much happiness that this bad memory will be a spec afterward…

  9. superfluousity says:

    I don’t know if in the West like in Singapore, the 21st birthday is also a very big thing? We celebrate our 21st birthdays a little like it’s finally our foray into real adulthood. Most will hold a huge celebration/party of sorts. I spent my 21st in a psychiatric hospital, institutionalised as i was severely depressed and highly suicidal. Also, as luck might have it, i had my first electroconvulsive therapy on that day too. It marked for many more to come (44 shots to be exact). I never had any birthday party in my life anyway. Only dinners or small gatherings. I’m 25 btw. 🙂

    I’m sorry to hear you didn’t have a Sweet 16. For me it is always a nightmare to have people bail out on me when they’ve promised to come. Time heals, and i hope it has healed you. God bless that friend who came and stayed. She was an angel. The important thing is that you’re now reaching your next milestone!!! Yay!!!

  10. uniquelyyourscards Sallie says:

    I am so sorry that happened to you. I an totally relate. When I was 15, I was attending high school abour a hour+s drive from my home. I decided to throw a Valentine’s Day party (not on the actual day of course) I invited “my friends”, bought decorations, my Mom baked and no one came! I was really upset, and though it has been oner 40years, I can still remember how upsetting it was. I guess the travel was too far for them to drive or they just couldn’t be bothered.
    I now have several friends that are really true friends. We’ve worked together, gone places togther and solved the world + s problens!
    I hope that your 30’s are a time of wonder and excitement and discovering this great beautiful world and the many people who will come into your life.

  11. katespadegirl says:

    Oh sweetheart, how awful that must have been for you. Kids are SO cruel. I experienced similar things, just a completely different setting. But I always felt like an outsider, and that is NOT FUN!!

    I wish you the most fabulous wonderful 30th birthday party! Plan it, invite your amazing gal pals and have a wonderful time!!! *hugs*

    ❤ Jules

  12. Bosco says:

    I’m sorry to hear this. No one has ever wanted to celebrate my birthday. I’m just wondering if you got to celebrate your 30th?

  13. Kelly vang says:

    I actually didn’t enjoy my sweet 16th birthday it turn into a drag,completely.
    No presents,parties,etc. I completely realized that all this time no one actually cared for my birthday a sweet 16,its a shame really,I still have anger for them,but I can’t angry everyday right? So I move on,but still remember that day.

  14. Anna Di Giacomo says:

    My Mother cancelled my Sweet Sixteen lucheon party because her Dad died 3 months before. I felt like it was my own funeral. Old School Italians feel when there is a death you must mourn for a year. Put yourself in my shoes. I could not even buy my own cake with my own money. I had to cancel the 7 friends I invited for lunch. I couldn’t wait for the day to be over. My Dad asked … Are we not eating today… my Mother said I am not cooking we are in mourning. My relatives who I am not close to showed up at nearly midnight… two families came and gave be $20.00 each explained did not buy a birthday card because they were in mourning. The $40.00 did not make me feel any better.Mean while their daughters confirmation parties were not cancelled. Instead of 50 relatives they had a luncheon of 25 close relatives and had a barbecue and went to the photo studio for pictures. 18 years old, graduation, 20 years old and 21 years old also has sad stories. You might call it revenge but I do not attend my relatives mile stones as they told my Mother it was no good to have anything for my Sweet Sixteen Birthday… should have given them back their $40.00 dollars. What is really sad my Mother got out a bunch of food when her relatives came that evening and did not want me touch any of it until the next day as a sign of morning.

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