When I was in high school and about to turn 16, I have heard about the sweet 16’s birthday parties and the fun those people had, and planned their birthdays that it was perfect, the people who had gone to those parties, the decorations, the planning all kicked off perfectly.
Even though I did not have friends back in the day, and those who I thought were somehow, I decided to throw a sweet 16 birthday party for me. As I had invited 20 people from my school. So now when it came toward the last couple of days to my birthday, I assured people to ask if they are going to be attending my birthday and they said yes we will be there. I got so excited. I remember it was April 28, 2001, on a Saturday and Monday is my real birthday on the 30th, and decided to have it 2 days early because of School on the right day.
As I had begun decorating, and had ordered the cake and the food, as well has putting some games so people can play. As the time was nearing for people to come, I got so excited that I stood by the door to wait for them to come, my anticipation was growing deeper. As I looked at the time again and it was 2pm where the time said on the invitations, I look at the clock and it said 2:15. I said ok its ok, they are running late. Then one person came around 2:30, I welcome her into the house and she decided to wait with me. then it became almost 4pm, and it was just her and I was devastated, humiliated, embarrassed, and crying so much.
That one girl who came to my party wiped my tears away and said it will be ok. Don’t worry, I am here. lets enjoy together. Who cares about the rest that stood you up? I said yeah you are right. So we enjoyed the food, and desert and cake and watched a couple of movies until it was time for her to go home. She hugged me and said, Talin, do not worry about anybody else, they are cowards. God is watching them. Then she left as her mom came and picked her up. My heart shattered to pieces. It was a feeling that I never wish on anybody else.
After her leaving, I let out a huge cry. I said, I cannot believe this happened to me and my mom comforted me and told me, don’t worry God will punish them. So Monday came and I was still crying and devastated. I did not enjoy my real 16th birthday, but I did go out to dinner with my family, which made everything better. I actually skipped school for a couple of days and just stood home. I just didn’t feel like seeing anybody. Then I decided to go to school on the Wednesday, and none of them said I am sorry and did not bother to give me an explanation as to why they did that. All the planning, food and everything went to waste, however we kept the food and ate it throughout the week.
From then on, I didn’t care about interacting with anybody and I just went about and studied, did my homework, attended all my classes, and then once school was finished, I’d never waste another second and just go home. I was so disgusted. That one girl changed schools the year after because her family had moved somewhere further, and that really made me even cry more. She was the only one who really cared. It was so nice of her. I still have the give she gave me 14-15 years later.
As I reached another milestone this year. At the end of April on the 30th of 2015, I will be celebrating my champagne birthday turning 30 on 30 and it is coming up so quickly. As I almost say Goodbye to my 20’s, I am truly hoping that I can have a sweet 30th birthday that will make up for the sweet 16th birthday I never had. I know it is not good to expect it, but when you’ve never had a birthday party reaching a milestone, it makes you wonder how and what might have been. I just want to have a great time with my lovely and beautiful loved ones I have in my life which really matter to me more than anything else.
Have you experienced a disappointing turnout at a party or function you have had? I am sure you felt humiliated and distraught. Have you had a similar situation where people didn’t bother to show up and not telling you why and not having the common decency to call and explain? If you have, I am so sorry to hear that. I know exactly how you feel. It is not a good feeling at all.
Hopefully nobody has to go through what I went through. Best wishes to you and may your dreams come true, because everyday is our birthday and celebrate it by the gift of breathing and living through another day. We are blessed and that is what matters the most.
This is so relatable, but I love your enthusiasm and optimism to forge ahead. (: happy birthday in advance.
I’m sorry that this happened to you. I thought that sort of thing only happened in the movies honestly… For my 16th birthday I went to the movies with my 3 best friends and my sister…that same year my friendships began to unravel. I don’t really have birthday parties anymore…but my birthday will be happening soon, before my final exams of my first year of university. My 19th birthday. I’m excited…and really, I prefer spending my birthday with my family. I’m still trying to make friends here at school. I hope next year things will go a lot better for me, and that I will be surrounded with good, true friends…and will have friendships that will last.
Thank God for that girl that came to your party…. Honestly, when it comes to things like that I’m that person who doesn’t stand for bullying…especially that kind. I remember in gr. 4 my so-called friend invited everyone in the class to their birthday party except me…however I was their “best friend.”
I didn’t understand why…and it was an accident that I found out. Another friend of mine asked, “Didn’t he invite you?” and I said, “No…” and I was going to invite him to my birthday (we’re a day apart) and had the invitation for him with me at school…so I put the invitation back in my backpack and decided not to invite him. I felt kinda bad at first but the people who came to my party were my real friends.
Thanks for courageously sharing this painful moment. Although the exact thing did not happen to me, I could very much relate to your pain and vulnerability. You are not alone and I trust you will have a fantastic 30th!
I have always stressed out at hosting parties, but I had my 30th last year and it actually felt a little like high school all over again. I had this one group of people not bother showing up, not letting me know if they were coming when I needed to know numbers, not wish me a happy birthday…Yet they keep inviting me to their’s and get all annoyed with me when I’ve stopped coming to their parties and don’t wish them a happy birthday. I just don’t care any-more,lol…They acted like high school kids for no good reason. When a bunch of 30 year olds act like high school kids, I don’t really want them around any-ways,lol.
🙂 🙂 🙂 that was the past
You are good writer. Shame on those who didn’t come to celebrate your sweet 16 birthday. I’m sure your sweet 30 will be so much more sweet.
I too had an incident that always bothered me. My eleventh birthday and everyone forgot it including my parents. They were to busy hating each other. It burned in me for many years. Sorry it happened to you too.
Parents who forget a milestone birthday should not be parents.
I am very sorry to hear that. I can relate people in my family are like that.
There were no birthday parties and when you are always the new kid and very shy on top of that, there are no friends. The day I turned 16 I was in Juvenile Hall as that was where older kids (those over 7-9) awaited a new foster home.
I learned early to reject anything material as it was always taken away. Am I sad? bitter? angry? NO! I put my self through university and when an automobile accident left me “unable to return to work” I sold up and moved to the south of France near the Mediterranean. The kindest, compassionate and loving people became my friends and now my family. Who knew that life could be this good? It can! Léa
Reblogged this on cardioshasta.
This broke my heart. I do hope your champagne birthday will be everything you wish for. In fact, I will pour a glass of champagne on April 30th and make a toast to wish you a happy birthday from across the miles.
Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I was completely alone in a dark house on my 16th birthday. My mom had forgot and gone out before I got home and all my friends were busy. 2 weeks later my mom got me a purple stuffed my little pony for a belated birthday gift (because she had realized she missed my actual birthday). Sometimes life sux and people are shitty. It seems like the end of the world when you’re young and still trying to find your way. I’m glad we can both look back on those days and think, “No matter what trials and tribulations I’ve faced up till this point, I’ve still made it this far and now nothing can stop me from finding my own happiness.”
I know how you feel my Mother forgot my 21st birthday and had a dinner party for her family. I was so hurt that I cryed and stayed in my room.
Happy Champagne birthday, which is approaching! I’ve learned that I only have a few really great friends, and that’s all I need!
I truly wish there was a dislike button here. I’m not meaning that I don’t like your post. I am meaning that it was so hurtful what those kids did to you. Your friend was right though, it doesn’t matter who doesn’t come what matters are the ones that do come for you.
I truly hope that your 30th birthday you will be surrounded by people that love you and care about. I pray that God will surround you with so much happiness that this bad memory will be a spec afterward…
Parties are stressful and people are jerks. I think that is why I’ve never had a party for my birthday.
I don’t know if in the West like in Singapore, the 21st birthday is also a very big thing? We celebrate our 21st birthdays a little like it’s finally our foray into real adulthood. Most will hold a huge celebration/party of sorts. I spent my 21st in a psychiatric hospital, institutionalised as i was severely depressed and highly suicidal. Also, as luck might have it, i had my first electroconvulsive therapy on that day too. It marked for many more to come (44 shots to be exact). I never had any birthday party in my life anyway. Only dinners or small gatherings. I’m 25 btw. 🙂
I’m sorry to hear you didn’t have a Sweet 16. For me it is always a nightmare to have people bail out on me when they’ve promised to come. Time heals, and i hope it has healed you. God bless that friend who came and stayed. She was an angel. The important thing is that you’re now reaching your next milestone!!! Yay!!!
I am so sorry that happened to you. I an totally relate. When I was 15, I was attending high school abour a hour+s drive from my home. I decided to throw a Valentine’s Day party (not on the actual day of course) I invited “my friends”, bought decorations, my Mom baked and no one came! I was really upset, and though it has been oner 40years, I can still remember how upsetting it was. I guess the travel was too far for them to drive or they just couldn’t be bothered.
I now have several friends that are really true friends. We’ve worked together, gone places togther and solved the world + s problens!
I hope that your 30’s are a time of wonder and excitement and discovering this great beautiful world and the many people who will come into your life.
Oh sweetheart, how awful that must have been for you. Kids are SO cruel. I experienced similar things, just a completely different setting. But I always felt like an outsider, and that is NOT FUN!!
I wish you the most fabulous wonderful 30th birthday party! Plan it, invite your amazing gal pals and have a wonderful time!!! *hugs*
I have nominated you for a blogger award! You can see it here : http://bit.ly/1auityk ♥
I’m sorry to hear this. No one has ever wanted to celebrate my birthday. I’m just wondering if you got to celebrate your 30th?
I actually didn’t enjoy my sweet 16th birthday it turn into a drag,completely.
No presents,parties,etc. I completely realized that all this time no one actually cared for my birthday a sweet 16,its a shame really,I still have anger for them,but I can’t angry everyday right? So I move on,but still remember that day.
I really feel for you!
Thank You for understanding!
My Mother cancelled my Sweet Sixteen lucheon party because her Dad died 3 months before. I felt like it was my own funeral. Old School Italians feel when there is a death you must mourn for a year. Put yourself in my shoes. I could not even buy my own cake with my own money. I had to cancel the 7 friends I invited for lunch. I couldn’t wait for the day to be over. My Dad asked … Are we not eating today… my Mother said I am not cooking we are in mourning. My relatives who I am not close to showed up at nearly midnight… two families came and gave be $20.00 each explained did not buy a birthday card because they were in mourning. The $40.00 did not make me feel any better.Mean while their daughters confirmation parties were not cancelled. Instead of 50 relatives they had a luncheon of 25 close relatives and had a barbecue and went to the photo studio for pictures. 18 years old, graduation, 20 years old and 21 years old also has sad stories. You might call it revenge but I do not attend my relatives mile stones as they told my Mother it was no good to have anything for my Sweet Sixteen Birthday… should have given them back their $40.00 dollars. What is really sad my Mother got out a bunch of food when her relatives came that evening and did not want me touch any of it until the next day as a sign of morning.
I forgot to add to my story another thing that happened. It is very sad and who ever reads this and is a Mother, as a Mother will not understand why my Mother did this. I was told for a full year of mourning there would no parties, no Christmas, no Easter, no names day gifts, no going out, no cakes and no type of enjoyment. I wanted to buy my own Sweet 16 Birthday cake and my Mother would not hear of it. Mourning was from April 18 1974 – April 18 1975. My birthday was in June. Funny thing a few weeks after my birthday my Mother asked me if I could buy milk on my way home because she did not have enough milk to bake the cake. I was a bit confused and said ‘O your baking us a cake’, she said no… a family member was having a birthday and she was baking them a cake. I got really furious and said no because she did not even let me buy my own cake. She went out and bought the milk and baked them a cake. I do not understand my Mother.
Thank you for putting your story it helps me know that I’m not the only one with friends bailing on me last min my sweet 16 is tomarrow and all but 2 people bailed
I really feel a lot of parents should not be parents. Do not care about their children’s feelings. How can parents forget about Sweet 16. A lot of families start talking about it a year before. How can parents care more about their family members than their children. I wish I had been adopted. I know of a lot of people who do not want anything from their parents on their birthdays once they are married. Can you blame them? I only got a party once and it was for appearance sake… Graduation. A lucheon party I did not even want… 22 relatives. Four days before my Graduation Luncheon my Mother said… ‘O by the way we are giving you a party but are taking the money from the envelopes’. Does that mean they are poor? I don’t think so because they gave out $20.00 bills with a graduation card to a few of my classmates on Graduation Day. Could have paid my Graduation luncheon with that money. My Mother said she had this Graduation party as a way to reunite the family but that never happened. My relatives are not nice to others all for themselves. There was no room for me at my Graduation Luncheon I did not even sit to eat. A girl at work many years ago… I bought her a watch from Pharma Plus and a pair 10k Cubic Zirconic earrings from Pharma Plus. I quickly made these purchases because an instinct told me she was not getting anything.Day after Amy told me her Mother forgot her birthday and when Mother remembered did not even give her a card.
I can’t tell you how sorry you had such a bad experience at your sweet 16 party; I thought that was very thoughtless of your friends to stand you up like that, your turning 16 is a very important milestone in your life and your friends almost ruined it for you, except for that one special girl who made you feel better; I never throw parties myself, but I have a precious friend who has birthday get-togethers for me two days before my birthday; I love her so much. Disappointments can hurt, but we get stronger with time and I’m glad you did; May you have many happy birthdays to offset this bad one; God Bless You! 💓
Today is my sweet 16. I have one good friend but she’s going to be busy tonight. My sister might come over but that’s about it. I always saw myself somewhere else at this age, but i guess i have a while nother year to change it.
My cousin Nancy was getting married and my grandfather on my Dad’s side in Italy died 3 months before Nancy’s Wedding. My Father said to my Mother they were not going to attend as sign of respect. When I did not get a Sweet Sixteen party I said to my Mother ‘I hope everyone lives a long life but if there is an special occasion on Dad’s side and someone passes away you will see how it feels’. She did feel bad and knew I was in a way glad about it. Times were changing in Italian traditions about that time and everyone was pushing my Father to go but I am glad they did not attend the wedding… you cannot have your cake and eat it. A sister in law of my Mother… her brother’s wife… called early the next morning to complain they did not go to the wedding… why did this sister in law not complain when I did not get a Sweet 16 Party. This sister in law even had the nerve to say to my Mother that even if my Dad was to beat her she should have come because it was her niece… Karma has never let me down.
Forgot to mention my grandfather came to Canada did not write or send money for 8 years had a mistress. Had no intention of sending his wife and kids to Canada. This is the type of person I did not get a party for.
This type of person did not deserve respect.If he forgot about his wife and children then I should have had a party. A sad thing my Mother’s 2 brothers had to support my grandmother and her children when they came to Canada.