Where is The Kindness Anymore? I Can’t Seem To Find It

A Week ago my great friends and I were planning what to do this weekend and make it a girls night out that we hadn’t done in a while, and so we decided to go see a movie called “Identity Thief” with Melissa McCarthy and it was such a funny movie, and then we decided to go to a restaurant and just have some fun, relax, talk and catch up with each other. It was such a beautiful night, where I just relaxed, enjoyed, had a great laugh, basically what I needed tonight to be with my beautiful people.

Now, as we sat down, we ordered off the menu, got our meals,  had our meals, and just talked This elderly man was getting out of the restrooms very slowly and was frail and we were situated in a way where we couldn’t go and assist him, and so basically these 2 young men they looked like they were in their thirties or something, were walking behind him and they would not even bother to assist this elderly man to his table, and so that really started to upset me, but I just didn’t show it, but I just felt so helpless because I couldn’t really get out to help and plus it was crowded a bit, but these 2 men should have helped him, and so this waitress came to aid and to assist him and the other two men took off and just did their own thing. It was quite upsetting and in my mind I said, where is the kindness anymore? Where are peoples etiquette and thoughtfulness? Things like this get me emotional and I don’t do well with people not being friendly, helpful and unkind to others, and not assisting people like this elderly man. It just didn’t sit well with me tonight. I barely see kindness anymore and cannot seem to find it. It is so rare. I just cannot take it anymore for real. I am just disgusted at this society so much. I am so turned off. How people be so thoughtless, unkind, unfriendly, unwilling to help? How can people be so cruel to others and not give a care? It is beyond me. There is no excuse for behavior like that.

It totally ruined my mind set afterwards, but then I was just having fun with my great friends, and I just didn’t want to ruin the night by that, but then again it effected me. When I see things like this it just upsets me so much. Kindness is so rare these days it is like a super power that some do have. I am not saying that everyone is not kind or anything at all. I am generalizing and talking in general of people that do not have kindness and thoughtful. It just doesn’t seem to exist and it so rare, but then I came home and I had to write about this situation. It just bothered me so much. How can I ever restore my faith in humanity? It seems like every time I do restore my faith back in, I get pulled back out and then it takes me a while to restore that faith in humans. I don’t know, but its quite disturbing and disgusting.

What have you seen gone wrong? Have you seen someone be unkind and thoughtless? Have you witnessed something that is not right that is done by others? What is your take on all of this? I’d like to hear from you.

17 thoughts on “Where is The Kindness Anymore? I Can’t Seem To Find It

  1. I am appalled that you would write about this awful incident. You are just as guilty as those two men who were walking behind that poor gentleman. You did not make an effort to help. I was hungry and you did not feed me; I was naked and you did not clothe me; I needed help and you did not help me.

  2. Dear Talin,

    Yes, there are rude and selfish people out there, but there are also good and kind ones. That is what you should focus on. And model the behavior you want to see, because it is contagious! Best wishes!

  3. I recently blogged about an incident some years ago, in which I stepped into the middle of a busy road in my hometown and saved two elderly men from being run over. Even if I hadn’t recognised one of the men I would have stopped – I was a care assistant and so I was used to dealing with people with alzheimers and situations such as this one. The number of people who just walked right on by shocked me; I can’t blame the passing drivers as there isn’t a safe place on that road to stop without causing an accident.

    People can be ignorant and cruel; those of us with any empathy simply have to strive to make up for it with our own kindness when situations allow.

  4. I totally know how you feel! I live in the DC area. People are MEAN here! Everyone always talks about the rude New Yorkers or tough guys from Boston. No those people are just more straight to the point. In the DC area, there is such a feeling of entitlement that people treat each other horribly. I don’t really understand it but it can be very deflating at times. Yesterday for example, I was down at a marina with my husband and son. There were groups of college kids in a sailing competition. I had two arms full of food and two adults passed me not holding the door while I tried to juggle everything. A college kid from Connecticut jumped up and ran over to open the door for me. All I can say to that is at least the future is looking bright!

  5. If Blanch DuBois were dependent upon the kindness of strangers today, she might be in worse trouble than she was in Streetcar Named Desire. The art of practicing kindness is a lost one. Sadly. Maybe if you are kind, though, you will inspire kindness among your friends. Listen to Garth Brooks’s song We Shall Be Free when you need hope.

  6. How could anyone not see it. It seems so rampant these days. I saw a young man shove an elderly lady away the door of a store the other day, so he could go in ahead of her. Disgusting. On the other side, good manners still abound. I had a teenage boy hold the door for me at the gas station. It was a nice reminder that kindness and manners are still out there.

  7. It’s a Me.com world, it’s what’s on tv on video games in movies. It’s hard to find something these days that is inspiring or has a moral to the story.
    Someone once said ” the more I know people, the more I love my dog ” I know exactly what they meant, but if you have an opportunity to help someone do it. If you see something that is unjust speak up if you can. If you can give to someone who has need, or just a smile to brighten someones day this is all one person can do. As someone has said before me it is catching. The first teachers of our children are us, teach them empathy for others including animals, good manners, good morals and honesty, If they don’t have this taught to them at a young age they turn out like the young men in the restaurant.
    Jo 🙂

  8. It’s kind of ironic that you thought a movie about a con woman stealing someone’s identity was “funny.” And you wrote, “I couldn’t really get out to help,” and “it was crowded a bit.” You were in a restaurant – of course you could have helped. Instead, you chose to blog about it. Sorry, not good enough. Casting stones, my dear, casting stones.

    • Having just re-read this I have to agree. I can’t get by socially without a walking stick and yet I’ll still do whatever I can to help someone in need. Whilst waiting for my connecting coach in London when I used to travel alone I’d still leave my seat to help an elderly person stand up – and even loan them my stick if they seemed to need it. A simple “excuse me” is all it takes to get through a crowded restaurant to aid somebody else.

  9. Sometimes it’s hard to put yourself out there especially when an act of kindness can get you sued. Some people pose or create situations where they will take advantage of a person who comes along to help. I am not saying it is right not to help but sometimes you have to be careful that you aren’t hurt in the process. I know when I feel downtrodden or witness something horrific, something else will happen to restore my faith. I certainly don’t think the gentleman in the restuarant was posing but it does happen. I agree with Jo that empathy needs to be taught at a young age but sometimes people don’t absorb what they are taught. There’s another side to the story where people assume help is needed or will step in when there is no need to help. An example of this was when my husband who is blind was at Strathfield station trying to get out of the station when a man grabbed his cane and shoved it out in front of him. Adam was struggling to break free but the man shoved Adam through the crowd so that he could get out faster. It was so crowded he had no choice but to be dragged out. Once he was released, he asked which side of the station he was at and then had to negotiate back to the side he needed to be out at.

  10. Just remember you cannot save everyone AND take care of yourself. I pick certain causes and do my volunteering there. Good post, keep comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable.

  11. I understand your frustration in the “me-ness” of the world, where rudeness often rules and no one seems to have left junior high school. However, I also see many glimpsed beauties of people acting kind, of going above and beyond what is even expected, and I’m still inspired – and I’m reminded that I can make a difference in how I behave everyday. And that’s a start. 🙂 For truth, overcoming injustice, and for the RIGHT way. -j

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