Not Knowing How To Appreciate Somebody Really Hurts

When people who do not know the definition of appreciating you (me), or even think about you (me ) and only approach you (me ) only if they need something done, or anything from you (me), do not worry, what goes around comes around. Let nature take its course.

I always say this, people who are far away are always sweeter than the ones who are near and the ones who are near always get used, get volunteered into things, and expect so much more from, thinking you have time and can do things quickly. Unfortunately that is how it is. People do not realize I have feelings too, and I have so much going on for me too.

I am not complaining about doing things for others, and going out of my way to do so, but there is only so much you can do and then not be appreciated for it is absolutely hurtful.

This past week and for a while now, I have been so hurt beyond repair, my heart is aching so badly, to the point where I think about what happened when I go to bed, when I am sleeping, when I wake up, when I am going about my day, when I babysit, during when I am working, and even during my happy moments where I try to take it out of my mind. It is still there. I cried for many days and I have been so upset, disappointed on how people can be this way to others, especially if they are your own flesh in blood or whoever they are. It absolutely hurts like crazy. I really do not want to discuss what happened, but it hurts emotionally and mentally. It killed any spirit that I have left.

Its not so much about being chosen to be part of something precious and beautiful, it is the principle behind it and something to show gratitude, but unfortunately some people are not gifted with being thoughtful, and being appreciative toward others.

Well, I am not doing it anymore. Not going to allow others take advantage of me and take me for a fool. I really do not have time and energy for it anymore. Time to look after myself and go after what makes me happy, be with those who appreciate, love me for who I am, what I am passionate about and what I love to do with my own time. I have put my foot down. I am so tired of crying and being so hurt. Enough is enough.

Thanks For All the Fun & Laughs Jay Leno – I Will Miss You

Jay Leno what can I say? last night during the final taping and all this week, I am sure the emotions were running high at the Final Show of The Tonight Show. 22 years have come and gone with celebrities, politicians, awesome surprises, what a beautiful last show. As I hold back my tears, I can truly say that Jay Leno you made my mother and I laugh so hard with your awesome monologues, the headlines, Jaywalking, 99cent dollar store items, Jays funny¬† pumpcasting, coulda woulda shoulda, the most wonderful time of the year, and everything else in between. You began your show with Billy Crystal, and ending with Billy Crystal on your show along with the touching music of Garth Brooks. With all the tributes from the stars that came on the show tonight like Carol Burnett, Kim Kardashian, Oprah, Matt Damon, Bill Maher, etc… along with your final touching, heartfelt, beautiful speech really did it for me. I cried up a storm, I had a box of tissues handy. I definitely needed it. Jay the thing I liked the most, was that you really love your fans, and you made sure that your show was entertaining as possible and made everybody laugh, and have fun which did for me.

I stood up mainly because of your show, your headlines and everything else with Kevin Eubanks, Rickey Minor and the bands. As Mondays approached, I could not wait to watch your funny headlines among other things. Jay Leno I will miss you immensely and very much. Enjoy your time off and always know that I will always remember your show and I will always support, admire, love and respect you even when your off the air. Thanks for everything. I wish that somehow I could have been on your show and you would interview me. It was my dream to get on your show, it was a dream of mine to get to go see a live taping of your show as well, but that did not pan out and work out the way I wanted to.

Having talk shows, and the whole operations of it is extremely difficult, with getting stars on the show, the scheduling, the daily monologues, the designers, administrative work, getting the rights, set designers, getting celebrities on the show, politicians, as well as the studio use. It take a lot of time, energy, money and everything to make a show successful and 22 years is a long time for a show and Jay Leno was one of my favorites. I cannot believe it is the end of an era, Thanks for all the fun and laughs Jay Leno. I will miss you.

Now that Jay has passed the torch onto Jimmy Fallon, I would like to give a warm welcome to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon another person I truly adore, love and respect. Jimmy Fallon makes me laugh so hard as much as Jay Leno did. Best wishes to Jimmy and I look forward to his Tonight show. God bless you Jimmy Fallon on your journey and Jay, I would love to see your cars one day and meet you of course if I get lucky and come to Los Angeles for a visit. If I get an invite that is. lol. Thanks Jay and welcome Jimmy!

Dedicated to Primate Bishop Bagrat Galstanyan – A True Leader

I would like to introduce to you someone who is very dear to me in my heart and in my life, I would like to talk about someone who many of us in the world who love and appreciate him and his name is Bishop Bagrat Galstanyan of whom is our Canada Armenian Church Leader.¬† Please note when I say Srpazan that’s the Armenian word for Bishop.

Now, this past week, something unfair happened that there were elections of having another leader lead our Armenian Church Diocese Head in Canada, and the location of our head church office is in Montreal, Outremont, Quebec. The election was indeed a setup and a lot of people are against what happened, a petition is going around, and many people are quite upset about what happened and how the way things transpired. Most of the people are calling this a misjudgment and not making a great decision for our Armenian church of Canada with good intentions and I myself and others do not believe this election was done in a fair manner and things we done beforehand to alter the numbers. Something suspicious and fishy is going on and we want to get to the bottom of this and we want answers. Anyway,

in 2003 when I met Srpazan Bagrat Galstanyan, I knew right away I would love him and he became someone who I consider family to me. Srpazan has taught me so many things about life and his words, his speeches, the meetings I was in with him in ACYOC (Armenian Church Youth Organization of Canada), Kingston, Mississauga, traveling to Vancouver for our Sports Weekend in 2005, Going to Montreal/Laval sports weekends, Camping trips, and so many more memories. Srpazan Bagrat Galstanyan is someone who is very special and dear to me and the loss of him being our Srpazan and our leader has hit me so hard and it is hurting me beyond anything else. It is far worse than someone hitting me with a bat, but that does not even compare to the pain this is causing me and this has been on my mind since I heard about this on Monday Morning. I cried so hard, I cried so hard inside too, my tears rolled down my cheeks, and I am so angry!

Srpazan was there for me at my toughest moments when I was bullied, picked on because I was different and I went to events where I felt alone and left out, but Srpazan came to my rescue and he spoke to me, made me feel better about myself, and he gave me advice, he opened his heart to me. I will never forget that for the rest of my life. Srpazan was there for me when nobody else really was, I met many friends in Montreal because of Srpazan, and I was introduced to a whole new world and I was so excited to go to Montreal all the time and to see my friends. Srpazan after knew me by my first name, and he remembered what we discussed, he was always asking me how I am and how I am doing since we talked. THAT THERE TO ME SAID IT ALL! I knew I would love and trust him forever and I always will forever. He gave me the energy, he gave me something in my life that will always remain with me forever. He smiled at me always, and always excited to see me, shaking my hand, blessing my head with his hand. It was a great feeling!

I cannot stomach it To see him being treated unfairly, betrayed by his clergyman who he thought were his friends, who he thought were with him and support him and in a disgusting way his clergyman had to vote against him and on what grounds? This is unbelievable! and having these elections. What is this? A political race? Is this some kind of JOB race? I want Srpazan back, I want this whole bogus election to be void.

The true meaning of being Christian, and being a servant of God is to reach out to people in a personal level, to inspire, to help, to guide, to do great work for the community, to dedicate his/herself without asking for material things. I love Srpazan Bagrat so much! He will always be special to me and I Just want him back! Is that so hard to ask? This is betrayal.

Here is the Facebook page. Help and support us by getting him Back to stay with us, and there are pictures, videos, and links about him if you want to know more about our leader who is selfless, kind, spiritual, dedicated, caring, loving, humorous and so many more great qualities about him.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/STAY-WITH-US-Bishop-Bagrat-Galstanyan/401752986606195

The Petition: — Please sign and share with your friends and family. Thank you!

http://www.change.org/en-CA/petitions/bishop-bagrat-galstanyan-not-to-ratify-the-decision-made-to-replace-bishop-galstanyan?utm_campaign=signature_receipt&utm_medium=email&utm_source=share_petition

Thanks for reading about our lovely leader. Lets keep him here and lets bring him back to lead Canadian Armenians for a brighter future ahead.

Exercising Problems – Experiencing Excruciating Pain

For so long now, I have been experiencing a lot of exercise problems pertaining to my lower leg calve muscles. I end up starting to exercise,, and then comes the excruciating pain in my lower calve muscles, which becomes unbearable to handle anymore and it comes to a point where I start to cry. It is that bad. I am trying to do my best, but exercising is not working out for me. I am going crazy. If that pain does not come, I am fine, I can do my exercising no problem and I sweat too, but when the pain strikes, I end up screaming, groaning, and just start crying like no tomorrow. I do not know what it is, and I had asked a person who works in a health booth, they said nobody should be getting that much pain from just walking.

She said, there must be some imbalance in you, or you are not getting enough vitamins or have a deficiency in something that is making your lower leg calve muscles being in that much pain. I explained to her that it is so bad, that I cannot continue to my exercise, and I just quit like cold turkey. I want to do exercise, I want to feel lighter, I want to look better and feel better, but it is not working out for me. Literally. I am trying to find solutions to lose weight without exercising. I don’t want to join any programs. I want to do this on my own. I want to do this on my own pace and take my time. I don’t want to lose drastic weight every week as its unhealthy. I need some answers, and I just can’t seem to be getting anywhere with my pain. It is like someone is cooking inside my calves. It burns so much that I just squeal and I feel like my legs are on a burner. It is seriously that bad.

I want to get in shape, I want to fit in those dresses, I want dates, I want a relationship, I want to get married with a nice and descent guy, I want to be able to have my life and enjoy it and look good in pictures, and be happy with feeling skinny, but this pain this terrible excruciating pain is preventing me. I know they say no pain no gain, and I know they say it will hurt, but it will get better, but not in my case. I went 2-3 months straight exercising and walking everyday without skipping a day, but didn’t do me any justice. The pain was still there.

Am I missing something in my body? Is there something wrong with my muscles? I don’t know, but I need some answers. It is making me go crazy. Everyone is on my tail to get thin, and to lose that weight, but How could I? I am really suffering when I do it. Its really bad.

Do you have ideas for me? What do you think I should do which will be an alternative to exercise to lose the weight? I am all out of options here. Thank you so much.

 

 

A Tribute To My Grandfather Who Died 10 Years Ago Today – June 30, 2002 – June 30, 2012

A Decade ago, I lost someone very dear to me and someone who is so special to me, and that is my grandfather Habib Torossian. He died just about a week and a half before his birthday on July 11. I remember the morning of June 30, 2002, when we got that terrible phone call, before 9am in the morning saying that My grandfather had passed away in his hospital bed at the nursing home. It was one of those days where my world shut down, crying my eyes out, and so much going through my head and I was so distraught and shocked at the same time. We sort of knew it was coming, but then again I was shocked. My grandfather meant the world to me, he taught me so many things about life, he taught me the importance of being in the Armenian community, among so many things, and he had such a wonderful sense of humour. I can still remember his smiling face, the way he used to sit, His voice, his touch, the way he cooked, the way he played backgammon. I mean who would forget those special moments I shared with him? I will never forget my sweet grandfather.

I remember going to several trips, picnics, camping, outings, dinners, get together, parties, among very great times with my beautiful cousins, and my mom, aunts and uncle.

My grandfather had a heart of Gold, he was so down to earth and put his family first above anything else. His passion for Armenia, His passion for writing, his passion for being in the Armenian community was so contagious. I think that is where I get it from. I visit the cemetery to see him once in a while, and I kiss his tomb stone and always tell him, “Dede”(means grandfather), in Armenian, so I would say, I miss you so much. This past year or so, My grandfather appeared in my dreams 5 times. It was so comforting to see his face once again. He was wearing all white. He is my Angel from above and I love him with all my heart. He is always in my heart and that is something that will never go away. I miss him terribly much. There is just so much I want to talk to him about, there have been so many things that he has missed in the past 10 years, but he is watching from above and watching over all of us. I love him and I wish there was a way to bring him back, but unfortunately, not. He will live on in our memories, and in our homes, in our lives forever. His soul and his goodness will never be forgotten. The fond and beautiful memories is so important to remember.To My dear grandfather Habib Torossian, I love you forever. I know heaven is a beautiful paradise and your there with other family members and friends who have passed, have a wonderful time together up there. God rest your soul, God keep shining light on you and among our loved ones who are not physically here with us today. One love. One Life. Kisses and Hugs Grandpa! I love you! Until we meet again. This is not goodbye. It’s see you later.