Hello Everyone, due to popular demand and many people asking me about my previous posts on bullies and how people bullied me a lot, and how I overcame those hardships in my life, what I did to stay afloat in life, what measures I took to look past those bullies and make a positive and optimistic life for myself with happiness and joy all around me after many years of suffering this terrible ordeal I had to face when I was going to elementary and high school. Today, I am going to talk to you about all that, about what changes I made to get past the pain I had to endure when I was a child and a teenager. My readers questions mean the world to me, and I will do my best to answer each one of them as fast as I can, but today I thought I would address this topic to everyone as it is important for those who have been victims of bullies, and to restore faith back into humanity to move forward in life. Well, without further do, here is how I overcame and moved past those terrible times of my life, I will be interviewing myself.
What did you do to overcome your bullies?
After graduating high school I realized, that life was just beginning and that I was going to go onto bigger and better things in my life, and I was right. I started joining committees in My Armenian Community, I began to write, I started traveling more with the Armenian youth whom I made friends with at church, I began to participate in more Armenian church events, I began to go out more and those became a positive enforcement in my life and I had the time of my life, probably the most fun I have ever had in my life in regards to social events with people and just getting out there. I began doing secretarial and communications for my committees I was part of with Armenian Church Youth Organization of Canada ACYOC, among Bible study, and the appointed me because I was getting pretty good at communications and promoting. I then went onto make flyers and doing so many things for different events around the church, attending camping trips and sports weekends across Canada all the way to Vancouver, British Columbia, Montreal, Ottawa, and beyond. So I had the pleasure and privilege to travel there with my lovely youth. From then on, I knew my life changed forever and I began to have friends and I overcame all those struggles within a couple of years after high school.
Since Joining Facebook, Have you made any social interactions with people online and in reality?
I remember joining facebook back in 2006 and It was exciting being part of a social network with Armenian friends and my family who had told me about it, and I decided I join, and it was the best decision that I made. I have been using it until this present time, and I have met incredible and wonderful people there from all parts of the world, and had the pleasure of meeting my facebook friends within the past 3-4 years. Especially last year and this year recently this summer. It was a beautiful encounter and that made my bullies disappear from my mind and things started to fall into place and things got better for me. I smile, I laugh more, and I have reached my peak of happiness because of the positive reinforcement from my lovely friends I had met. Especially from a radio station based out of California called RADIO AGA. I thank that radio station everyday for giving me back my life’s happiness especially getting together with friends from the many miles. I will forever be grateful.
What advice do you have for those who are being bullied right now?
I know in my heart that, it is one of the most difficult, and terrible things a person can go through no matter what age, and I do believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel always. I know for a fact, that things are going to work out and get better for you. All you have to do is think of happy thoughts and move forward. I know it is easier said than done, but always know that you are not alone, nobody is alone when those are being bullied. I went through terrible ordeals and situations, but those situations made me stronger, and today I am doing so well, and I am so happy with who I have become. I sort of want to thank my bullies, because now I am stronger than I ever was before and they gave me that boost to stand up for myself and be tough in this world in terms of knowing the type of people in this world and knowing who to trust or not. Don’t worry, there is always a way and you will overcome your bullies like I did. All it takes is a little patience to get out of that phase and get onto newer things in life. Things will turn around for you and you will be better than ever. Just have faith.
I truly believe there are great people out there and sometimes it is hard to find those great people, but I do believe in humanity all over again and I had mixed feelings for the past couple of months, but then again, I realize that life is what you make it and life will always have ups and downs and there will be people we like and don’t like, there will be people unfortunately who are not on the same page as you and who understand you, I guess that is how the world works unfortunately, but all I know is, I am happy, doing well, optimistic, positive, and a lot better than what was going on with me when I was a child up until my teenage years. No more sadness, no more tears, those bullies have left my station, never to return because there is a sign called no trespassing. All the best to everyone!
Talin Orfali Ghazarian 
I’m not certain that you ever “overcome” he experience of bullying; those memories are still with me after all these years but they definitely spurred me on to make me a better person. I started going out with friends and making new ones, became a carer in various capacities, taught myself the guitar and became quite a well-known singer/songwriter in my hometown. Some of my bullies even apologised to me in later years and I forgave them – we were all just kids after all.
Bullying has definitely shaped who I am today, but it’s also had some negative impact – I wanted to be a journalist or a nurse, but I was too afraid to go on to college. Instead, I became a care assistant and believe that I was made for the job – I’m only sorry that I’m no longer well enough to do it.
I don’t believe you ever overcome it either, to be honest – it’s always there in the back of your mind. I’m so sorry you too have been through it. It’s true there are ways that it’s affected us negatively even now – you lost your dream of going to college to do what you really wanted to. The positive I guess is you never would have become a care assistant had you not been bullied?
It does still affect me today too. I’ve had friends from childhood apologise/tell me they really liked me – it’s helped to change my own memories of that time to being less hurtful – but the constant fear of not being good enough, not being likeable, being inferior etc – always there ๐ฆ
*hugs*
I am still terrified of meeting people for the first time; if not for some of my closest friends and my husband being there I would never be able to cope with the Discworld Convention because I’m always afraid of being judged.
A few years ago I found out that several of the lads I went to school with actually had a crush on me, but teased me because fancying me “wasn’t cool” and it was a way to interact with me. A few of the girls apologised and said they were jealous of my fair hair and slender figure. Very few people meant me any ill-will – but when you’re a teenager you really do take things very much to heart, don’t you?
On the plus side, everything I went through encouraged me to leave my home town and explore England – making new friends everywhere I went ๐
that’s the way to do it, am glad that you finally having a positive life…you are on the right trac Talin.
Hi Talin, sorry for the late comment, I was without a computer for a few days. I just wanted to thank you for writing this, I was one of the people who asked. I find it inspiring how you have used positive thinking to overcome the legacy of bullying. From going through it myself, I know how easy it is to get caught up in a cycle of hating yourself, doubting yourself, fearing the worst will happen, and depression. Positive thinking has helped me a lot too. My priorities have also changed, wanting to help others now rather than my future all being about me, me, me.
Bullying wasn’t all that shattered me – I came from a background of extremely bad abuse at home, so that and the bullying shattered me to bits, meant that I pretty much checked out of life. I’ve had to start rebuilding my life from the very beginning up. There is a lot that I’ve lost – dreams, functionality, time, innocence.. so much more. But there is even more I’ve gained. I don’t take my friends for granted and I have been blessed to know what it’s like to have REAL friends who truly love you for YOU – doesn’t matter what you look like, who you are, where you come from, what point you are at in your life – they love you and accept you regardless. The contrast of people like that against the bullies is night and day and I thank the bullies for teaching me what I do NOT want!
Keep on speaking out about subjects close to your heart. It can be hard to reach out to others but every day, the more you interact, the easier it gets.
The majority of people are actually lovely – it’s the minority that are not, just we tend to remember them more.
I was also bullied at school and am a bit ashamed to admit there are also bullies at my workplace. The best thing I can do is ignore them, like they don’t exist. I don’t even look at them. I think this bothers them even more because deep inside what they have is a huge inferiority complex and they want to bring others down by making fun of them or calling them names. Since I just act as if they don’t exist, they don’t know how to react or deal with it. They love being the center of attention and I don’t give them any. Eventually, their bullying towards me stopped, thank God.