Recently, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and boy is it difficult. I have never had a boyfriend before and I am just going crazy to think that no man finds me attractive enough, and all they want to do is be friends, but I am ready to date and I am ready for a relationship. I have never experienced one before, so I do not know what to expect, what the first date would be like, how to start conversations, and what to discuss. I have been thinking about this for a while now, and I don’t know if I will ever find someone. It has come to that point. I know that jumping into relationships fast is not a good thing, but I want to start now, I want to get going with this. I am so ready and my patience is running thin, but good things come to those who wait I guess. I know that special someone is out there for me, or I may have met him in my life already or maybe I have not. I am just going in spirals trying to figure all this out. They say that there is someone for someone in this world and somehow those two end up together, and God has a plan for all of us and with his power everything is possible.
I believe that a man should appreciate his woman for who she is, personality wise and everything. Everything else comes secondary. First personality traits, and attitude of life is important a persons inner being. What I wish for in a man is someone whom I can talk to anything about, I am not a person who is materialistic, or cares about the house he has or the car he drives. What is important to me is his personality, someone who is great inside, and of course someone who takes care of themselves with grooming and hygiene of course, but those things come secondary, I want a person with a sense of humour who can make laugh, where we can enjoy each others company regardless of where we are, a place is just a place, but being with one another is what is important. I want someone whom I can be comfortable with and be myself with. Someone who is honest, forthright and who is a straight talker and doesn’t beat around the bush. I want someone who understands and who is sensitive toward me.
I want to know how it feels to be loved by someone, to be in a relationship, to share special moments, to talk, to share moments of thick and thin, the good times and god forbid the bad times. I know that relationships are not perfect all the time, and things happen, but I am looking for someone who can be my all, and my life and the complete my puzzle in life. In this day in age, I need to really think with my mind before I think with my heart. The heart is so fragile, and the heart is so soft, sometimes we make bad decisions because we think with the heart and don’t have time to think with the mind, and sometimes the heart overpowers the mind, but this society has made me realize that thinking with the mind is far more important and crucial to any relationship, and involving family and friends are important to me too, because their opinions matter to me because I ask people with the most experience and those people are not just any people, they are my family and my parents and my friends and their blessing count to me, and without their approval, I will not continue on with the relationship. Even if I love him so much, because I know their opinions and the advice given is for a reason.
I have not been in relationships to know these things, so that is why I value my parents, brother and friends opinions because they know better to help me guide through those times. I am not materialistic and I do not need expensive gifts or jewelery to show me how much that man loves me and cares about me, the way a man will show he cares and loves me is when he is with me every step of the way, someone who supports me, understands me, someone who is there for me in good times and in the bad, someone who calls me beautiful, someone who calls me, someone who goes to the ends of the earth for me.
I will also do the same as well, and I believe in 100/100 — There is no 50/50 as people say each person in a relationship has to give in 100%. That is what I believe. I don’t know, I am just going crazy with all this. I see so many getting married and engaged around me, I feel so lonely, but I am not going to have a boyfriend and get engaged and married because everyone around me is doing it, but I do believe it is my time. I know this year, my prince charming will sweep me off of my feet. I just know and feel it. Time is of the essence I guess. The waiting begins. I am ready. More than ready. Wish me luck!