Recently, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and boy is it difficult. I have never had a boyfriend before and I am just going crazy to think that no man finds me attractive enough, and all they want to do is be friends, but I am ready to date and I am ready for a relationship. I have never experienced one before, so I do not know what to expect, what the first date would be like, how to start conversations, and what to discuss. I have been thinking about this for a while now, and I don’t know if I will ever find someone. It has come to that point. I know that jumping into relationships fast is not a good thing, but I want to start now, I want to get going with this. I am so ready and my patience is running thin, but good things come to those who wait I guess. I know that special someone is out there for me, or I may have met him in my life already or maybe I have not. I am just going in spirals trying to figure all this out. They say that there is someone for someone in this world and somehow those two end up together, and God has a plan for all of us and with his power everything is possible.
I believe that a man should appreciate his woman for who she is, personality wise and everything. Everything else comes secondary. First personality traits, and attitude of life is important a persons inner being. What I wish for in a man is someone whom I can talk to anything about, I am not a person who is materialistic, or cares about the house he has or the car he drives. What is important to me is his personality, someone who is great inside, and of course someone who takes care of themselves with grooming and hygiene of course, but those things come secondary, I want a person with a sense of humour who can make laugh, where we can enjoy each others company regardless of where we are, a place is just a place, but being with one another is what is important. I want someone whom I can be comfortable with and be myself with. Someone who is honest, forthright and who is a straight talker and doesn’t beat around the bush. I want someone who understands and who is sensitive toward me.
I want to know how it feels to be loved by someone, to be in a relationship, to share special moments, to talk, to share moments of thick and thin, the good times and god forbid the bad times. I know that relationships are not perfect all the time, and things happen, but I am looking for someone who can be my all, and my life and the complete my puzzle in life. In this day in age, I need to really think with my mind before I think with my heart. The heart is so fragile, and the heart is so soft, sometimes we make bad decisions because we think with the heart and don’t have time to think with the mind, and sometimes the heart overpowers the mind, but this society has made me realize that thinking with the mind is far more important and crucial to any relationship, and involving family and friends are important to me too, because their opinions matter to me because I ask people with the most experience and those people are not just any people, they are my family and my parents and my friends and their blessing count to me, and without their approval, I will not continue on with the relationship. Even if I love him so much, because I know their opinions and the advice given is for a reason.
I have not been in relationships to know these things, so that is why I value my parents, brother and friends opinions because they know better to help me guide through those times. I am not materialistic and I do not need expensive gifts or jewelery to show me how much that man loves me and cares about me, the way a man will show he cares and loves me is when he is with me every step of the way, someone who supports me, understands me, someone who is there for me in good times and in the bad, someone who calls me beautiful, someone who calls me, someone who goes to the ends of the earth for me.
I will also do the same as well, and I believe in 100/100 — There is no 50/50 as people say each person in a relationship has to give in 100%. That is what I believe. I don’t know, I am just going crazy with all this. I see so many getting married and engaged around me, I feel so lonely, but I am not going to have a boyfriend and get engaged and married because everyone around me is doing it, but I do believe it is my time. I know this year, my prince charming will sweep me off of my feet. I just know and feel it. Time is of the essence I guess. The waiting begins. I am ready. More than ready. Wish me luck!
Talin Orfali Ghazarian 
You’re not alone… I feel more or less the same way, but I wouldn’t blog about it, I think that’s very brave of you. 🙂
You are SO right to depend so much on the opinions of your parents. The first thing I realized in college was that if my father doesn’t like him, then it isn’t going to work out. Boyfriends are temporary, but Dads are always there for their girls 🙂
No worries that day will come…the important thing is to be happy and have a prosperous life 🙂
I was you not too long ago…TRUST ME….I met my husband on eHarmony on a whim…I had gotten to the point where I was pretty frustrated and then it happened…so fast too. We got engaged in 6 months and we both new right away we were meant to be.. You are beautiful and a wonderful person. I know it will happens. This is our story-
http://blissfulvida.com/2012/04/29/love-story-3/
Don’t give up! TRUST ME- IT IS SO WORTH IT IN THE END!
Love, Nicki G. The Blissful Wife
You need to put out! No guy wants a girl that isn’t going to touch his dick. Plain and simple!!! There are lots of sites out there that teach you that stuff. Hand jobs, hummers, blow jobs, even rim jobs! The possibilities are endless!! Good luck 🙂
lmao! He’s right you know
Don’t take this “advice”.
Keep your head up.
Quite a positively romantic post. The things you are looking for in a man don’t seem too difficult to come by. Sometimes from previous experience women are after what seems the absolute impossible, but your expectations seem more legitimately romantic, as you appear to be wanting to treasure the emotional components of the relationship, not the economic, residential or vehicular components.
This is just my opinion, but because you are a woman, I think that will benefit you in the relationship game. Trust me, it’s the blokes that have all the trouble. All a woman needs to do is stand on the side of the street and after a couple minutes she will have an unlimited number of blokes magnetically drawn to her – probably has something to do with the fact that women are naturally beautiful. Again, positive post, and FYI, you don’t need luck – you just need to go out there and make it happen. If you believe you can do it, then so too will anyone who wishes to have a relationship with you. Additionally, I would argue that independency is an admirable trait, and if you have succeeded this far without a man in your life, then maybe you do not need one. Relationships are very complicated – however, only you can know what you want and need in life and at the end of the day it is your choice and yours alone. Oh, and if you don’t already know, most father’s hate the boys their daughter’s bring home, because in their eyes no man will ever be good enough for his little girl – trust me on that. Cheers!
Don’t give up …. one day at the time there’s will be someone for you 😀 (I wish for my self too) I like the way you tell your stories, you’re so brave.
Good luck …. 😀
It always happens when you’re not looking, seriously. And it’ll take you by surprise. He’s definitely not going to look or be anything like you expect.
Online dating sounds a good idea to me. While you are looking for Mr right why not get some experience, make any mistakes you need to make with a few mr right for nows?
Love and intimacy do go hand in hand as you will discover when you fall in love. the giving of yourself is all part of the joy of it.
Good luck!
He’ll find you, not the other way around! Every time I’ve done the searching and finding it’s ended badly (two divorces and many unhappy breakups).
I met my now-husband at a garden party five years ago. A few weeks later I needed somewhere to stay in a hurry and he offered me his spare room. The rest, as they say, is history 🙂
You can’t find love, it will find you. Not to worry, Talin, when you least expect it your life will change.
Blessings – Maxi
Happy hunting!
Good luck, Talin!
This will happen suddenly, it will hit you hard and rapture you. Being single has it’s advantages but marriage has been fabulous. Hang on, Talin.
hello friend,
Be at peace with where you are in your life right now. As a man I have always found the most attractive trait in a woman is when she looks content and happy with herself. Trust me, men will find your happiness an irresistible lure. Good luck to you.
-peace
Stay true to yourself and when the time is right, you will meet ‘The One’. Excellent post!
I was with a lot of the wrong people until I met my current boyfriend that I am absolutely over the moon about. My last relationship was an abusive one and my therapist would tell me there is someone out there this very moment who will love you exactly as you are. When I got up the courage to leave my ex and finally become comfortable with myself and not being with anyone else my over the moon happened.
It will happen for you too!
Talin, I give you credit for posting something so personal. Also, as administrator of your own blog, you can remove offensive comments (see above), but you’re the only one who can do it. Do it!
What is the most important thing to you? Armenian heritage? Religion/faith? Looks? Wealth? Start by letting your trusted friends and family members know, especially if you’re looking for an Armenian man. Your community/church may be the best place to start.
The man you fall in love with may seem like Prince Charming to you, but dispel with the illusion of a white knight on a horse sweeping a young maiden off her feet. That’s a fairy tale. And your first boyfriend may not be “the one.”
Remember, it is better to be single and lonely than to be married and lonely.
Martha’s last sentence above is a good one. I keep reminding my daughter of this. It may be hard to be single, but not as hard as being unhappily married.
My daughter is going through the same thing. She’s independent, hard working, makes a good paycheck and is used to being independent. A lot of guys don’t like that.
She’s hung in there with e-Harmony and all of a sudden, this last guy might be “it”. It was quite a surprise to her as there had been so many failure up until now.
There’s someone for everyone, but it may take a while to find the right one for you.
Nancy
Tali you cannot ‘find’ love it finds you, sometimes in the most unexpected places. I had been friends with my other half for years before we realised we felt more for each other than just friends. It will not always be easy you wont always agree or find everything the same thats where 50/50 comes in, it is not about commitment it is about give and take being able to accept and respect your differences 50 percent of the time he will acknowledge you are right and 50 percent of the time you will allow him to think he is right, only joking!!!!!!! love will find you when you least expect it and it isn’t always a fairy story it can hurt it needs tending to grow, and I believe that only when you don’t need anybody is it possible to want someone enough to stick at it, needing someone suggests you are not enough on your own, only when you recognise your true worth can you find someone else who will recognise it
All the best Talin !
as one who was 39 when I got married, i cannot say to you that ‘God has the perfect guy out there for you, just keep faith and wait’. tomorrow is not promised and today is what God has given you. be faithful to what He has given you (today) and be the best single servant of Jesus that you can be. serve God, serve others, be content in the moment with God’s perfect provision for today rather than worrying or pining for tomorrow’s possible husband.
if you woke this am as a single person, then for today, God’s perfect plan and provision is for you to serve Him and others as a single person… embrace and celebrate it as such.
not easy to hear and not comforting to the flesh that ‘wants’ what God hasn’t given yet, but ‘godliness with contentment is great gain’. my own struggles and trials developing contentment as a single man all centered around submission to today’s provision, trusting God for the timing and the propriety of a mate so i know the pain of lonliness you must be feeling. can i suggest http://www.singleness,org as a great christian resource. they understand and indentify with your situation. they were very helpful to me as a christian man struggling for contentment in a world that treats singles as second class christians. be encouraged… God has the very best for your life, with or without a mate.
“all are single for some time, some are single for all time… both are in God’s time”
-mike
Hey Talin!
Trust me, you’re NOT alone (in past few yrs, I’ve noticed that a LOT of immigrant & 1st gen single women are having trouble w/ dating, relationships, marriage). BTW, I’m Bangladeshi-American & came to US when I was 7 y.o. I know diverse women from ALL faiths & backgrounds (mostly singles in their late 20s-40). Personally, I was V shy until my mid-20s (when I began making good friends & talking to men). I focused ONLY on my own community; that was a mistake, I think. I know better now…
Are there any good guys in your church who are single or divorced? Or maybe you should broaden the search to online? (I know 3 women who met their husbands online: 2 Muslims & 1 Christian.
Take care, EMMA
Hey 🙂 I really liked your post, it was candid and brutally honest (hard to find in writing these days). I just want to tell you to not feel rushed. I know it is hard being alone and watching everyone around you, but think about it: God’s plan for each person is different. IT may not be that anything is wrong with you. Maybe you are waiting because God is working in your future spouse’s life. Maybe you need to wait because things need to align themselves just right for it to be a healthy relationship, and everything you ever wanted.
I believe that God puts desires in our hearts, and God does not disappoint. Wait on Him. Don’t settle and don’t feel pressured. God knows your heart. Instead, pray. Pray a lot. God does not tell us ask once and receive. He bids us to come to Him in faith and ask. He says that whatsoever we desire and ask in His name, He will give to us. Don’t grow weary. Don’t waver– pray and patiently wait. God will bring the very best in your life when you need it most. The more you pursue this in all earnestness with God, the more you will value it when it is obtained.
Always know you are beautiful, you have depth of the soul and God has something special for you. Don’t fret, just trust is God. You couldn’t put your future in better hands.
;)-Gabby
Its awesome that you are ready for love- that is the first step. Now you need to know that you ARE worthy of love from a s/o and that love WILL come to you. Everything will fall into place- stay positive and keep working towards your dreams and love will find its way when you least expect it. 🙂
Hi, I’ve just discovered your blog as i am as well soul searching and finding comfort anywhere i can find. I relate very much on your words, i’ve never had any boyfriend, therefore nor dated ever. I wonder if my prince charming will come to me, i have so much doubt but i keep hoping and hang it there. I saw later in your blog that you found a boyfriend, it gave me some hope and I hope to have the same path as you. Anyway, thank you for sharing your words as it helps some people in need.