In General, Relying on People Are Hard to Find These days.

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Trust has become minimal these days and relying on people is something so rare. The world is

changing day by day, people are changing, the society is changing, peoples attitudes and the way

life is now. It is sad to see how once people who promise to be by your side always, and promise

that they will always be there for you and all of a sudden those people whom you thought you can

rely on no longer live up to their promises. It is very hurtful to see people who make promises and

cannot keep them. Especially when you think those people are close to you and who you thought

would never abandon you.

It is especially hurtful sometimes when it comes from your own family or from best friends. I know

that everyone has their lives to live and things come up, but people should not make promises that

they cannot keep. I have learned the hard way. I have learned that when you want something

done right, when you need to get somewhere, you do it yourself. It is very important to learn who

true people are these days and its important to stand up for yourself no matter what the situation

is.

It is especially hurtful to come to terms on how some people say that whatever you have on your

mind, or you want to express your feelings, talk about problems and they say that they will be

there to listen, give you advice, hug you and tell you its going to be ok, or they give you some

words of wisdom, then they do not follow through. Its so extremely hurtful, and they are feeling

you will never forget.

You must learn how to stand on your own two feet. I have learned that in the end the people

whom you once thought that you can depend on, you cannot anymore. It is unfortunate but this

is how reality is. Many times I have been let down and many people have put me down and its not

a good feeling at all.

I hope that nobody has to go through these issues. I am glad I have people in the last few years

that have really helped me through the worst times of my life, but then again those bad feelings

come back to haunt you and its not a good feeling at all. I have experienced so much in my life,

so much rejection, so much angst, anguish, everything. It was terrible once I stepped out of my

home. I don’t know if it was written on my forehead or this vibe toward me was not right. To this

very day, I still speculate, and wonder why I was bullied, why people treated me differently then

everyone else. I have always been belittled and picked on and now trusting people is very difficult

for me.

To those who are going through all this and people who have gone through it, your not alone. I am

in the same boat.

47 thoughts on “In General, Relying on People Are Hard to Find These days.”

  1. It has happened to me as well as everybody I know. You think you know someone and they let you down, or they promise something and they fail miserably. It’s sad, and it sucks…

  2. THOSE DAYS ARE OVER, I THINK IT IS A DEFENSE MECHANISM WHOEVER TRIES TO BULLY SOME ONE, THEY ARE NOT SURE OF THEMSELVES AND HIDE BEHIND THEIR ACTIONS…TAKE MY WORD NO ONE IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER , EACH HAS THEIR OWN SWEET HUMOR.

    TRUST YOURSELF AND BE POSITIVE AS YOU SAY, MIND DOES PLAY TRICKS SOMETIMES BUT IT IS ALL WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND FEEL… SOOOOO BE POSITIVE AND REMEMBER THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO THINKS YOU’RE GREAT… KEEP ON BLOGGING YOU HAVE CROSSED AN OCEAN..

  3. It is not you the cause of bullies bullying….it is them. Sadly, there seem to be a lot of bullies in the world since the internet became so popular. It was bad enough when the bullies were at school but now they can do it on the internet and don’t have to face the person face to face. Hang in there and know that you are a beautiful person. 🙂

  5. Having a lover betray your trust is perhaps the most hurtful, and man am I a hurting puppy tonight.

    To better days, one and all. We’ll all muddle through eventually.

    Peace

    Jim

    • Jim,

      I have been in ur shoes, and I know how hard & painful it can be. It’s a long story & I am working on this blog to share with everyone who went thru the same grief. One thing I realize, it makes us stronger. It makes is wiser & however painful the circumstances may be, never let it take the best of u. U control ur path, don’t let the gief destroy ur integrity-

      Kat~

  6. Yes it is difficult to find people to trust. I have been hurt many times by people I thought were good friends. It has caused me to be much slower about building relationships and still always a little on guard. I think because I throw the total me in to a relationship, it is hard to understand when the other person doesn’t or is self centered. I just know that since I was a child I have had to depend on God to be my friend and comfort. He is always there for me and will never let me down. I may not understand always His methods, but I know He is wiser than I am and is taking care of me the best possible way.

  7. It’s tough and hurtful to be victimized by bullies of any stripe. We can be freed emotionally from bullying by staying positive as one of your readers said — I SO agree! And also, we need to learn to forgive, so that we aren’t kept in emotional bondage. But forgiving doesn’t mean allowing bullies to come back for any ‘repeat performances’. We need to be strong, draw a line in the sand and take a stand. We also need to learn to recognize different patterns of bullying and to call bullies out when we sense that behavior is taking place. I think bullies are essentially highly insecure cowards. They like to manipulate. But bullies need to be consistently ‘called’ out on their behaviour. It’s good to have strong support networks in the process. And it’s good to let bullies know you are someone who won’t put up with any garbage! Thank you for bringing this issue to light, Talia. An excellent article! Prayers for you, and God bless!

    • I agree with Susan. Knowing that ur support system are there to always back you up is a measure no one can defy. Bullies are those who are jealous of someone’s life. It is a phrase we often hear, “if I can’t have it, nobody else can”…the list goes on. Until now, she thinks she can bully our lives…unfortunate for her, hubby is starting to pull the reigns & standing firmly & is now throwing the ball in her court.

  10. Being a kindergarten teacher, I like to keep things simple. I really believe that mean people, people that hurt others, are very unhappy people themselves.

    I try to avoid negative people (and their negative energy), it can be contagious.

    Happiness and peace of mind can be contagious too; remind yourself that you are one of God’s creatures. Keep your head held high and be true to yourself; the rest will follow.

  11. We all go through our own feelings of pain, betrayal, and negative experiences in life. How you choose to handle it and bounce back depends on you, no one else. Luckily, good friends are always good to have around to help buffer in the positives and keep the negatives at bay.

    For me, my escape from the negative is releasing everything through the myriad of things I like to do. Music, art, blogging, podcasting, writing, etc.

    Mind you, I’m no expert or psychiatrist. Just another human going through the experiences of life.

  12. When you trust someone, you either get a person for life or a lesson for life – Read somewhere but very true. Whenever someone keeps up their promise or breaches my trust, I tell this quote to myself. Reality sometimes is hard to face, esp in such situations but life goes on.

  14. People are fallible, it is our nature. That’s not a get out of jail free card to let those around us down. We should strive to be better friends, husbands/wives, sisters /brothers, sons and daughters. The truth is we are a selfish lot on the whole and have a hard time putting others first consistently. We can however put our trust in a God of our understanding, He will not let you down. EVER.

  15. Everyone faces adversity in one’s life, but its one’s resilience that eases the pain, the anger, and… most of all… the recollections. I always thought Erma Bombeck’s quote about making lemonade with the lemons in one’s life was rather trite; but as I’ve matured, yeah. It’s true. To set and achieve goals is the best healing, and my focus was education. But no matter one’s age, experience, education, or personality, no one’s immune from the suffering. It’s the way it is, so it’s up to us to become empowered so that we have the tools to face adversity in our daily living. Life is tough, so celebrate relationships… though few and far between… that nurture you. They will be there, I promise!

  16. Very sad, but very often true. I fear we have all been let down by people we trust and love and felt betrayed, hurt and alone in the world. This is what gives a person character and the strength to fight on and survive. The amazing thing is there is always someone else to help, even if it is for a little while.

  18. I agree about standing on your own two feet. But I do also have a few other comments. I have family who say one thing and seem to routinely do another. Because of this, I’ve finally learned to balance the one behavior against the other. My family is only my family if they want something, it’s convenient, or it’s socially expected.

    They don’t want me in their lives nor want to be in mine on a daily basis This took me years to figure out. Still it sets me up to be hurt. They call, want to talk, we talk. If I call again in the next week? They are impatient, bored, and do not want to talk, etc.

    My long term solution is to avoid them. My life is much fuller, has less pain, etc. than iwith them. They’re consistent, to themselves, but to me they’re wildly inconsistent. Their consistency is that if I “really” need them they’ll act like they care. To me that is lying, but it’s just the way they are. They’re too self-centered, self-absorbed to want to be involved in my life on a regular basis, and any kind of trust issues in those times is just not feasible. But to them? I’m sure they’re consistent, and honorable.

    Which is my 2nd point. That the comparison between what they say/seem to say and what they do is key. When people say one thing and do another, then it’s time to shed them. I can’t “undo” my family, but I can avoid them. And boy am I happier when I do!

    Judith

  19. I hadn’t had the nerve to make a post like this in my own blog, but I have encountered much the same situations.

    You are not alone. We are here.

  20. It’s certainly difficult to push the bad experiences of life to the back of our minds- it is however a must, and I struggle to do this daily, having been dissapointed by so many. Time heals. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  21. What a blog I have to agree with you trusting is getting harder to rely upon people, we can’t do without them because we need people God created us this way, but what helps me is to remember that if they don’t help that is okay they just aren’t where I am in God, And I have to understand that my help comes from God so what I do is leave them in God’s hands and He changes their hearts if He want to and if He doesn’t then Desi just have to get over it, not to say it’s easy because it’s not easy but God gets me through it.

  22. Thank you for your sincere post. I think that we all share in this experience. I always expected that everyone would be completely good, that what they said was true, of course. I believed it again and again until finally I face that we are all imperfect, each neither all good, nor all bad, usually doing the best that we can. I don’t make excuses for things that are hurtful or shaming, controlling or any other thing, clearly not healthy, I do step away. Learning about “Love” and living with loving action both to myself and others is quite a journey. I honor you and your sensitive and beautiful path.
    Linda

  24. I agree with Desiray, Talin. You must leave every trouble in God’s hands. He is the one who’lll never leave you or betray you. And, as someone else pointed out, what you refer to in this post is a clear and sad sign of our time. People are becoming less dependable every day. Most people are self-centerd, many really don’t care about hurting others with their doings. But, once again, we can always turn to God to find the strengh and the peace of mind we need to get trough these troubled times.

  25. For this very reason I only have a handful of friends. I takes me years to warm up to someone because we really can not tell if people are being real or fake. It’s sad that things have to be this way. However I do have a genuine love for all people and care for them. I know that if anyone hurts me that God will comfort me and He will deal with those who hurt others.

  26. Talin, To thine own self, be true. I’ve learned to appreciate and hold close to me those who are supportive of me and my journey; to those who do not support me, I stay away. I no longer allow myself to be abused, judged, or treated with disrespect by anyone. It is okay to remove our presence from naysayers. I still love these people, I just no longer present myself as their scapegoat.

  27. It is best to rely on one’s self. I treat a fulfilled “promise” as a gift. I know those who promise meant it at the time, but a thesaurus of excuses step in the way. Sometimes there are actual reasons. It isn’t that they meant to let you down, it just came at an inconvenient time. If only our needs and there ability to fulfill actually coincided. That is where the problem is; it’s just timing.

  29. God bless you. I’ve had some of the same issues until I realized that these poor souls are the ones who have huge ego issues. I started my blog because I needed to do some healing on my own ego before I could tackle seeing the world and people through different eyes – it’s working. I had to first love me before I could see through the bullies tough exteriors and get past all the gunk blocking me from forming a loving relationship with others no matter how they did or did not respond to me and my needs. It always seemed like I attracted all of these negative experiences until I realized it was a life lesson I needed to learn. One of the best seminars to understand what is really going on with these repeat situations was called Ho’oponopono (Hō ‘ōpōnōpōnō) an ancient Hawaiian art of personal problem solving. It is a process that made me 100% responsible for every, and any, problem with a person, place or thing in the world that I seemed to attract to me. It taught me to see through the real bullying and trust issues and instead take responsibility for the problem by saying to myself, “I’m sorry, Please forgive me, I love you, thank you.” It was a huge healing exercise for me and one I write about in my blog. I still attract these same situations but through my Ho’oponopono process over the past two years, I’ve seen them slowly drift away and I am grateful. I don’t think we can ever get rid of these issues but we can react to them differently. It’s all about love, unconditional love for self and others . . . blessings to you for a great blog post!

  31. Hi Talin. It seems lots of us have had bullying problems, at school and at work in my case. How ever, try not to let these bad people and incidents ruin your faith in the basic goodness of people. There are lots of nice people out there.

    Great blog.

  32. I’m sorry you’ve been let down, and worse, bullied. That leaves scars that don’t heal. I’ve been a bullier and I’ve been bullied, so I have guilt and angst! Life is a series of obstacles. I try to learn from my mistakes and to learn from other people’s foolishness. I am sorry you are feeling low. You come across as such a sweet person. I love your posts! Usually you are very upbeat so I am guessing that something happened recently to hurt you. Hang in there. It will get better. You are so right about needing to be self-reliant. You should be able to count on family. When they let you down, the pain is searing. Try to be confident. People pick up on that and then they want to know what you know, to have what you have, to be near you and learn from you. Wishing you the very best, Russell

  33. Talin,
    Reading your post broke my heart. Yes we all have been hurt by other people whether purposeful or inadvertently. It hurts deep down. Particularly when they are people who we should have been able to trust. Please know that this is why God came. To heal the brokenhearted. To comfort us. To bring us life more abundantly. That is the true promise.

    You mentioned in your post “I have learned the hard way. I have learned that when you want something done right, when you need to get somewhere, you do it yourself.”

    You also mentioned “You must learn how to stand on your own two feet. I have learned that in the end the people whom you once thought that you can depend on, you cannot anymore.”

    These statements are not true.

    They are the message and the agreement that the enemy would have you make so as to harden your heart to the beauty of life. When you make these kinds of agreements it is very difficult for the good in life to seep through.

    There are people who will hurt you and there are people who will love you. And most of all there is God who loves you above all. He will fight your battles. He will heal your wounds.

    Accept his invitation to cast all your cares upon him and receive his comfort when you are betrayed. And keep your heart soft and tender in order to receive the love that is around you.
    I will be praying for you.
    Love
    K

  34. All I can say is that I don’t fully trust anyone. There’s only one person you can trust for stability. He’s the One to turn to when you feel depressed. If anyone is following my blog you know how pissed I am at the healthcare system (mental health in particular). Of all the personality disorders they only diagnose mood disorders which require meds and more and more people are being diagnosed bipolar because the antipsychotics are more expensiive. Mentally ill people are different so they stand out which may be why they try to dope these creative minds up and make zombies out of them. There’s only one person to turn to for stability in life. In closing, try watching A Beautiful Mind. Would John Nash have won the Nobel Prize for Economics if he’d have taken his drugs? Why is it when there’s a psychological diagnosis, Dr.’s won’t look for anything else? If these meds really make one functional then why are the patients in and out of hospitals and have to live off disability because they can’t work full-time? Sorry I got off on a tangent. I know this is way off topic. I’m on a tirade lately but righteous anger feels great! 🙂

  35. Much of my childhood was spent being the butt of everyone’s jokes. I was shy, self-conscious and always felt awkward and “stupid”. Kids would be nice to be, just to turn around and betray me. But I grew up and grew stronger from the experiences.

    I didn’t grow up to mistrust people, because that’s isolating and life is too long to be lonely. The risk of friendship is getting hurt, but for me, the benefits far outweigh the risks. I hope you are able to work through your feelings.

  38. Trust is hard to give, especially when you have been hurt before. I believe we have all experienced what you speak of at some point. (I know I certainly have!) You’re not alone! I feel this way from time to time, but each day I just try my hardest to remain positive in my life. If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that, in fact sometimes I prefer it that way… 😉

  39. However, coming to the same person with the same problem for 3 years can be a tough task. I have had a friend who I listened to, stayed up late with, woke up early with, and skipped dinner due to a serious talk…. in the end they never took good advice, and to this day are literally in the exact same spot they were when we first started our friendship. So I had to step out because I was not helping and if anything I was enabling the bad behavior.

  43. There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt. Ppl will always make you feel let down but it is only God that won’t dissapoint! The watch one word is ‘be Ʊя̲ self”

  44. Try living in Southern California, the land of the fake. I find it so hard to make and keep friends. I easily find the ones that are there when they are in need but somehow don’t get to your call or text until much later when I’m in need. This place has become about agenda’s and ones own needs and I am lonely many times because I had rather not have friends than have fake ones. Good luck, we all need it.

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