When something from your past comes back to Haunt you.

Do you ever feel about a terrible experience or a terrible thing from your past comes back to haunt you? Such as when you have forgotten or have no though of that terrible situation you were in and all of a sudden it comes back to you? Well, several days ago I experienced deja vu all over again. Something that I do not ever want to go through ever again. I finally knew who my true friends were from all the fiasco that occured.

I could not stop crying inside of me. I did not want to show my tears in front of people, but I was crying so hard. I always try to stay strong and have a smiling face, but sometimes I just cannot help a tear or two or three in that case. I just hope that I will never go through what I went through and I do not wish that upon anybody else who I love and care about.

Since several days ago I haven’t been my full usual self. I have been cranky, and I have been lashing out at a couple of people and suddenly have no interest in interaction and being talkative because of that issue.

In conclusion and on the bright side of it all a few friends of mine, who I will like to keep anonymous and they know who they are really helped me out in that situation and I will forever be greatful to them and I love you guys and never forget it.

I hope my luck will change soon and I hope everything will be back to normal again, but its so difficult. Especially for me. I just want to be accepted for the person I am and the person I carry out to be. I don’t want to be a person people feel sorry for. I just want to be happy again.

40 thoughts on “When something from your past comes back to Haunt you.

  1. talinorfali: You will be happy again. Time is a healer. I myself feel that way off and on for some of the things I have done. Don’t beat up on yourself too much. Try to be kind and forgiving to others and yourself and God will be forgiving to you as well. Keep a strong heart no matter how hard it seems. Stay positive and love yourself. Give up everyday and pray the first thing and keep God first and your issues second or third or fourth, etc. You are a caring and loving person. Think good of yourself. You will get through this. You know who your true friends are. Keep them. They are a gift. Thank you for the post. God bless you. Ricklee

    • “Time is a healer.” – I don’t think it’s always true. I’m sorry for being hard, but I saw too many people use it as a reason for running away, “Let time do it part” – well, an old wound may not hurt often anymore, but it leaves the marks, and will hurt anytime you remember…

      @Talinofali; If I can give you an advice… nope, just a recommendation. I have been through your situation before, and, worse… I have seen a friend with that situation before. I don’t know anything I can do to help her… that time.

      Please try to stay calm. Face your fear… slowly.. and try understanding it. You may say that you are too frighten.. but in my experience, people only fears what they aren’t sure about. You may see that the fact isn’t that bad as in your thought.

      I’m sorry for putting to much of my own feelings into your story. Your case may be completely different. But I always believe, the only way to get the inner peace, is to overcome your greatest fear.

      Please use my words as a recommendation from a far friend, and customize it to your need. Hope you soon get your peace back.

  2. Talin, I have no idea what your issue was but I can identify with the feeling. You’ve heard that line, “Let go and let God.” I think if you let God handle the situation it will work itself out. What we sometimes have to go through makes us very miserable. It does take time for things to spring back. Stay close to your friends and use them for support when you need to, but remember God loves you the most. Grab his word open it up to any page and start reading. It has always helped me to find comfort. I will keep you in my prayers.
    Shirley

  3. Dear Talin, I’m sorry to hear that your past keeps haunting you, it must be so hard… You know, all can be released completely from our body-mind system, and there are different techniques of doing it. One of them is Emotional Freedom Technique which is very efficient (http://www.aamet.org/faqs/joining-aamet/all-faqs/3-About%20METs/4–what-is-eft-emotional-freedom-techniques.html). I’ll try to write about it soon.
    Also, if you could find 10 days for a Vipassana meditation retreat (there are centers all over the world), it will help you a lot! (http://www.dhamma.org/en/vipassana.shtml)
    With best wishes of letting go and finding inner peace again,
    Zoya

  4. Dear Sweet Talin, my heart feels for you for I know what you are feeling. When people hurt us so deeply, it takes time to heal and sometimes instead of healing…..we bury it and then it comes back on us when we least expect it. I had some horrific things happen from people I thought were friends and turned out to be vicious people. The one thing that helped me was I wrote about it..over and over and over…and yes I cried…but the more I put it on the paper..and took it out of my head and heart…the less it hurt. I was able to put it away then. So often people say..oh forget about it. Well sometimes that leads us to just hiding it. If you ever need to talk…message me. I am a good listener and I care. Hugs and know that it is not you the reason people act ugly…it s a fault in them. You dear one are a very precious gem and a beautiful person. I am sorry you are hurting so.

  5. I know how you are feeling when you say you never want to go back to that terrible time. I too have a few times that I wouldn’t want to go back to. I was a battered woman and I wouldn’t want to go back to that.

  6. Yes,Talin, your feelings resonated with me because I can relate. We may not have been through the same thing but the feelings, and loneliness is identical. Thank God for friends and your doing the best thing by talking and writing your feelings out. This relieves the mounting pressure of the situation out. I didn’t know about blogging when I was going through my private hell, I felt I would never laugh again.The person I chose to tell my painful story to dealt me a crushing blow by telling my private situation to everyone I knew. I was devastated. I cruised the Internet for someone or something to identify with my pain and I found it in a relationship coach who went through something similar. Finding him restored me and birth my passion to become a coach, to be their for woman like me. We give of ourselves and we forget to give to ourselves. In time you will find out you will forgive,trust, laugh and above all love again. You can read my story @Ok2loveagain.com blogging has helped me and finding other blogs by inspiring people like you. Be encouraged my friend.

  7. Not knowing your curcumstance, I can not say I completely understand. I can however say that I have experienced my past haunt me. Haunting can be beneficial. It canmake us appreciate the here and now more. It can make us more thankful for our current situation and the blessings that surround us daily. It can be an eye opener and it can allow us to be happy with who we are now instead of dwelling on who we were in the past.

  8. Talin, My thought is this, without knowing the situation I cannot say I understand, but it has been my experience, that God brought me to it and God will bring me through it. While it may feel hurt beyond words, with words we begin to heal. My thoughts and prayers are with you and thank you for being an inspirational person to me who reads your posts….

  9. Dear Talin,
    The oceans of emotions is a terrrible place to be. Take safe harbor in God’s hand and find comfort, peace and strenght in His truth.

    **Everyday God thinks of you. Psalms 68:19
    **Every hour God looks after you. 2 Thessalonians 3:3
    **Every minute God cares for you. I Peter 5:7
    **Because every second, He loves you. Jeremiah 31:3

    ((hugs)) ♥ Akcielo

  10. DON’T EVER CHANGE TALIN, I AM SURE IT IS ALL IN YOUR MIND, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL PERSON ANS REASON FOR PEOPLE TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOU… BE HAPPY POSITIEVE AND ENJOY LIFE…FEELINGS ARE ALWAYS HARD TO CONTROL BUT I AM SURE YOU HAVE FRIENDS THAT REALLY CARE FOR YOU :(

  11. i know what it’s like to be haunted by the past and my heart goes out to you. Time is not always a healer when it comes to PTSD or C PTSD. Acceptance is. Accept it, grieve, allow yourself to cry. And live despite it. I don’t know if it ever gets better, but I know now, that I can go on. It happened, and I don’t know why, but I’m here, I survived, it hurts me and haunts me continually, but I will go on. And over time, it becomes easier for me to live despite it. Focus on the beautiful world around you, the people who love you, the things that make you smile. they may be bittersweet when the past is haunting you – but they will remind you that despite the pain, life is beautiful and worth hanging on to.
    xxx

  12. The flasbacks are painful yet needful. We have to go through them one on in real tiime. then one in memory form . This is part of growiung and then tne all important shedding. We have to shed. Forgiving your self for the capricious behavior of youth. In many ways we didn’t know ny better. The reality is that no matter yhow stupidly or foolishly we might have acted , we must revel in the reality that we’ere here and ow, alive and well. Embrace every negative wave of memory….work through eacg of them and then smile as you release them to the four winds. It’ll prove to be the best catch and release program iEVER!!!!!!!

  13. I’ve felt that over the past couple of weeks, just when I think I’ve dealt with the hardest part and can start back down the hill, I come to another rise, another challenge, another iteration of the same pain. Some days I wonder how many times I can be tested, trying to come to terms with the same betrayal. At the end of the day all I can do is breath in, breathe out, and let go.

  14. Don’t beat yourself up. It is OK to have empathy for yourself and it is OK to feel sad. Look at yourself and see how beautiful you are…you are wonderful Try to do something special for yourself, like listen to new music or buy the cologne you always wanted. Meditation is also another way to bring yourself to a better zone. Try to stand tall and smile, and remember sunshine is just around the corner.

    Janet

  15. Have thought a couple days on how to respond and all I can think of is to remember your personal strength and the power of choice. You have within you all that you need to rise above and if you possess a faith couple that with knowing you always have a choice. There is no reason for other people or situations to have control over you. That is easier said than done.
    I am slowly learning that there are some issues that are other people’s to carry and some that I am accountable to embrace. Learning which is which is a hard lesson that I contend we never stop learning. For what it’s worth…. ;-)

  16. Past is something that makes us strong. God only tested you. He’s always with us. Always think of that. God is good. Take care :)

  17. It’s horrible when that happens hun, but attach to that horrible memory – that you survived that rough time – and now are probably doing MUCH better than that.
    You should now know that people who can’t accept you for who you are – aren’t worth your time and energy.
    Never EVER let fear rule your life though hun, it can be crippling.

  18. I am the youngest of 7 children and over the years, I have learned a lot from watching my older siblings and how they handled life’s situations. None of us had a perfect childhood, but I can say that I am who I am in part because of what I went through to get where I am today. I feel strong and also blessed because I am here today to pass on knowledge to my own children. The older I get, the wiser I feel. I guess my point is that we can use what we have learned from our past to make us smarter about how we live today. I look back on things and know that there is nothing I can do about the past, but we can make the present better by being the best we can be right now.

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